A part of me keeps lingering on the memories we shared, another constantly reminding about the future we'll never have. Then there is this portion at the back of my heart wondering, what did the past 3 years meant to you? For you to have changed so swiftly, am I nothing but just a companion all these while? I'm sorry to have this thought, I know it is not true, that you loved me with all your heart. I know we were really in love, I wish we still are, or can be...
I know it is my fault for neglecting you, for taking you for granted. For not putting in enough effort to build our future. I hurt you umpteen times... I'm sorry. It'd only been 6 days since you left me, but I know your heart had left me much earlier.
I'm trying to contain this hate that is growing day by day... Thinking about you, moving on so fast... Faster than before we actually ended. It hurts. And I know writing down all these aren't going to change a thing. In fact, based on my understanding of you, it'll probably make you feel disgusted, increasing the disappointment and hatred you feel towards me... & I know someone will be there to tell you not to give a damn. But this is the only way I can vent whatever I have inside me.
I know I have great friends and family that I can rely on and confine to. But everyone just keeps telling me the same thing over and over again, to move on, to divert my mind on other things and become better, stronger. I'm not complaining & I really appreciate all the help, but... I do not know... I'm lost, confused and broken...
The truth is... A huge part of me still wish that you'd come back to me... That we can be together... Despite everything that had happened.
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