Thursday, May 15, 2014

Time is precious is an understatement

We meet many different people in our life, either from work, school, social events or even the streets. How would you decide of you want this particular person in your life? Because he is tall & good-looking? Humorous? Because of his character or personality? Or simply because he has made effort to show that he wants to be in your life too? Maybe that's what some called chemistry, while others called it fate.

But you know, even chemistry fades and fate sometimes runs out of time. Feelings change, like pages of a book or seasons of the year. We can't force ourselves to continue reading the same page of the same book over and over again. Neither can we choose to stay in summer eternally just because we like it. Things like these are inevitable. Changes, are inevitable. And we need the courage to face it, to accept these changes, because at the end of the day, we'll realise that it's time that we are wasting. & time, is in fact the most precious entity that ever existed.

Seems like I'd just ran out of time. Shall continue my grumble/rumble/mumble when I return. I wish time would stop when I'm with you; so that I'll never have to say goodbye, watch you walk away or spend nights like these thinking about you. But on second thought... I don't really wish for time to stop. Because I long to grow old with you.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

1 more confused soul

Do you like your public holiday to be directly before or after the weekend? E.g. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Or would you prefer it like this PH that we are currently having? I personally like it this way. Makes the week feel shorter.

So... It'd been 9 months now. Gosh, why am I even thinking about this again... I don't know... Maybe I miss the feeling of being irritated by someone who matters. Or maybe I miss the feeling of trying to be committed to someone. Because all I have now is a job. It's all I think about. And I'm not kidding, I actually considered going back to office and finish some stuffs that don't even fall under the "urgent" category tomorrow.

I hate myself sometimes. And I think I have depression other times. But it can't be. I'm just over thinking. How can someone like me have depression? I mean, every time I step out of the house, I'd be like, I'm going out there & people are going to be admiring me. Even though I have nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Hahahaha! "You mad bro?"

Saturday, May 03, 2014

What good are weekends?

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick, strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting everytime 
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?

Saturday - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday - Saturday - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday - Saturday - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday - Saturday - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday - Saturday - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday - Saturday... Sunday... Mo...

Thursday, May 01, 2014

If being myself means loneliness, then I can't be myself

It's exam period once again. The only difference is that it does not concern me this time :D Actually, I shouldn't say that it does not concern me. It does in a way because some of my friends are studying hard for their papers and can't hang out with me :/ Oh well, I wish all of you, my beloved friends/crush/cousin/stranger, all the best for your coming examination. In Thai language, we'd say chok di krap (or ka if you're female), which means good luck :D

So, it's 1st of May already... I read this somewhere: "One day you're seventeen & planning for someday, & then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today, & that someday is yesterday & this is your life". 

I spend lots of time thinking about what I really want in life. I come up with ways to change my life to the way I think I want to live. But none seems to fit. I wish I can cut the chase and find this one girl whose personality is just as I seek. Then we'd be together happily ever after. Hahaha! 

Can I really find/meet someone who is meant for me just by being myself? I'd say no if you'd asked me. Because being myself is too conservative and peaceful. As much as I love sports and adventures, I'm actually the kind of guy who loves to stick with close friends than meet new people. I'm the kind of person who'd go on a beach vacation, chill by the sea, complain about being bored but deep inside, enjoying the sound of people chattering nearby; of the crashing waves and the "nothingness" of being there. 

& I know that in order to meet that someone, I'll have to be somewhere out there... Out of my comfort zone, be at the right place & the right time. Somewhere... Movies that show introverts or wallflowers who randomly run into a girl, and then fall in love with each other... They are all lies. It can never happen in real life.

Guess I'll just live my life as I like. They say all that matters is that we are happy and what will be, will be. Right? -Ya, right.

Maybe I'm just not used to this loneliness yet. On second thought, I think I'm not lonely. Just single that's all. Ahahahaha! And maybe a little confused :D
Peace.