Automobile accident

Today is a bad day. It's the first time I need to compensate others due to an automobile accident. This was what happened: I was on my way to the wedding lunch of a friend and my jacket slipped off the passenger seat while I braked at the junction. So I reached over to pick it up without knowing that the vehicle was free rolling forward and it hit the bumper of the car in front. Nobody was injured but the "screw" on my car plate (off-peak cars have a "screw" on the car plate to prevent drivers from tampering with it) punctured a tiny hole on the rear bumper of the car in front. 

Sometimes I feel that it is predestined. You see, I was contemplating whether to drive or not and decided to do so since the venue was quite inaccessible. I then noticed that the traffic of the expressway, which I'd usually take, was rather heavy, and decided to use an alternative route. And this resulted in the ridiculous story that you'd just read above, hahaha! I'm just waiting for the other party to contact me regarding the compensation from my side now... Just want to get this issue over and done with!!! Please cost lesser than S$400! Hahaha...

要花冤枉钱了！我榦！

Rage, disappointment & anguish

Have you ever gone on a journey and through out the journey, there is this one person who you look forward to return to at the end of it? I do. But every time when I come back, this person who means the world to me has to drift further away because of some irrelevant bullshit. 

The hatred in me is growing... I'm going to snap if this piece of bullshit dares cross my path again. I won't forgive it. 

I don't want to quit (give up).

Very disappointing result and dividend distribution from Far East Hospitality Trust. Oh well, probably going to hold on to this counter for years anyway...

Work has been tedious. It's not easy running a team; all the decisions to make, guiding the newer staffs, managing expectations... It's taking a toll on my mental health. I can't help but to question if I am really up for the job. Guess this is a growing process that I'll have to go through. Tough time don't last, tough men do! 

My love life... Has been a tremor. But I have no intention of giving up because one does not simply give up on something precious to them. It's not easy to find someone who can take all the shit that you say and the nonsense that you do. It's even harder to find someone who can make you smile with just their presence alone.

Getting out of shape. Haven't worked out at a gym for 3 months now. Maybe someday... That's all for now.  Let's hope things get better... 

Sick of being an option.

The Martian is a great movie

Caught The Martian recently and trust me, it's awesome. As compared to movies of similar setting, such as Gravity, it is much lighthearted with plenty of interesting dialogues. And it is rather motivating. Teaches you to stay optimistic and to never give up even in the most dreadful times. I strongly recommend everyone to watch it. 

Maybe I should talk a little about my life. Everything has been good, more challenges and responsibilities at work, but no adjustment to salary, yet. Hahaha! And time sure flies, 4 more months to bonus again. Hoo-ray! Stock market hasn't been doing too well. Been sitting on a paper loss for the longest time. Fortunately most of my positions pay decent dividends. So I guess it's not too bad...

What else...? Love life? Hmm... I've to admit... I do feel a little insecure sometimes... Because when you have something so wonderful, it's only natural that you're afraid to lose it. Oh well... Life is just unpredictable like that.

"At some point, everything's going to to go south on you. You can either accept that, or you can get to work"

I wish yesterday never happened.

The day which I have been anticipating has finally arrived. It is time for me to step up and take on a bigger role and added responsibilities at work. Feeling so uncertain about myself. Well... I guess sometimes we have to put ourselves in that situation and learn along the way, maybe make some mistakes here and there, but this is how we grow, right?

We let people into our lives, make them part of it and when they choose to leave, we lose part of us together with them. It's an unbearable feeling. I won't deny, I feel broken. I feel like staying at home until I feel better. But we all know that is not possible.

:'(

A tree which may never bear fruits

What am I really hoping for? What am I chasing after?

我深深的脑海里

人与人之间的感情真的不是说放下就能放下的。当你尝试告诉或提醒自己不要再想某个人的时候，在那一刻，你心与脑海里想着的不就是她吗? 哈哈，还真可笑呢...

Foolish Games

Where do I stand? Why do I feel like I'm just there to fill in the gaps?

July Summary

Hi guys, a quick and simple update cause I'm bored as hell right now. Took my first MC since I started working. Company's clinic is just 2 minutes walk from my place :D and I might have rolled on the bed for too long, feeling a little "giddy", haha... Oh well, I should be fine by tomorrow.

Market hasn't been doing well, at least my counters aren't. Finally increased my holdings of FEHT to 10,000 shares after the sharp plunge in its price this week. I guess it's fine since I plan to hold them for a very, very long time.

I'm quite pleased with my salary "adjustment" this month. It was more than what I was expecting due to a salary review for fresh graduates in the company. 

With some of my friends and a very important person of my life overseas this weekend, I'm already starting to ponder about the things that I can do. Aiya, think so much for what! Ahahaha!

And I received a little surprise yesterday evening. Somebody bought me a cup of warm Milo and I thought that it was real sweet. I was referring to the gesture, not the Milo :D

Gosh, can't seems to keep you out of my mind. Please come back safely.

Burnout. Destroyed maybe.

Been feeling so tired this entire week. I might be suffering from a burnout, both mentally and emotionally. And it shouldn't be the case since I just came back from a short cruise getaway. I wonder why...

Don't you wish you can look into someone's heart and see how much you mean to them? Haha, maybe not, because so many chaps are going to be disappointed. I'll probably be one of them.

Thoughts before bed are always so deep that I feel like it's consuming me from inside.

Goodnight world. It's Friday once more. Cheers.

"You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you".

Bear in mind

"Never get too attached to anyone else unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you"

Welcome July.

: ' (

A drained heart on SuperStar Gemini

"If people don't make an effort to be in your life, don't try so hard to be in theirs; it's not worth it."

Back from my virgin cruise trip. It was awesome! I guess travelling with buddies of at least 21 years will never go wrong. Not many photos were taken because there really isn't much that's worth a shot. 

Beautiful Keppel Bay bidding us goodbye

The boundless sea from our little window.

Dusk.
Check out the 2 bright stars/satellite below the moon! 

So much green on Tioman Island!

The shades of blue aren't that bad too!

That's about it. Back to reality tomorrow! Let's go! 

Even the sweetest dream has to end

"Who is the first person who comes into your mind when you wake up?"

"You."

Company's Dinner & Dance was pretty fun. We had a very entertaining MC. I even got the chance to step onto the stage to perform my very own version of the classic Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars (the Monotonous version). And lastly, I'd like to congratulate my beloved colleague whose team won the first prize in the talent show, I'm so proud of you.

I'll be going to my virgin cruise trip in less than 24 hours. A little excited, finally get to embrace the island life again. Wish I'm travelling with my "girlfriend" though (not that I actually have one. And no, my right hand is not my girlfriend). Looking forward to winning some kopi money too :D 

Jurassic World was not bad. Very nostalgia movie. Some parts of the show totally reminded me of the 1993 Jurassic Park. Maybe for a start, it's time they open up enclosures in zoos and let us interact with the herbivores, ahahaha!

I really have 0 motivation to workout these days. The only part that is growing is the tummy. Sigh... No time to train is definitely a bad excuses. Because I don't even train when I have time, hahaha! Oh well... Life's all about priorities.

We don't know which way to go

"When you love someone, you love the person as they are, and not as you'd like them to be."

Cutting a birthday cake in my homely office for the second time made me realised how fast time had flew by. I've already been with the company for approximately 1.5 years. 

Seeing friends come and go really set me pondering how long more will I be here. Bonus was alright, wasn't as much as what I was expecting at first, but still acceptable after some "expectation management". Seems like the salary "adjustment" next month will be another key indicator. Not holding high hopes though.

Relationships between people can be so complicated. I can be here wondering if someone I fancy misses me, and there they are, wondering if someone else is missing them... Wouldn't it be nice if we can just meet someone who will always misses us as much as we miss them?

Questions.

Am I a procrastinator? Why have I not scaled Mount Kinabalu? Why do I not have a diving licence? Sometimes I really don't know what am I waiting for. For someone who might never appear? For something that might never happen? So many questions. 

Intensive 2 days. Fortunately for the short week, phew... TGIT people. 

"Don't give up on someone who you can't even go a day without thinking about."

Travelling abroad. Alone.

"It's been a long day, without you by friend... And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..." 

Is it true that the older you get, the lonelier you'll be? Friends getting hitched one after another, some too caught up with life, with work, while others just simply lost touch. To be honest, I never believe in losing contact with friends. Because if someone really matters, we will always try to meet up, even if it means getting rejected over and over again. Nobody is always busy, it's all about priorities and how much you really want to hang out.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really afraid of loneliness. Maybe I am, which is why I will probably never travel abroad by myself. But on second thought, it might not be true. I mean, I like to share my happiness with others, people who really matter. I like to travel with them, to experience new stuffs, enjoy the beautiful scenery, face dangerous moments, etc, etc, together. To me, life is about sharing moments with our loved ones. 

Should I get a new cellphone? Less than 10 days to 20 months, which is also when my contract will be eligible for re-contract or handset upgrade. Feel that it's an "opportunity cost" if I don't, but I really dislike spending money on miscellaneous stuffs like this. Oh well, life is filled with decisions. Like whether to talk to someone who you care about but... Nevermind.

"You deserve someone better"

I was told that I deserve someone better. It got me confused. Because how can I determine who is better or worse when you are all that I see? 

What a joke.

How they make us feel

May has been a rather eventful month till now. Had fun raving to the music by Hardwell at Meadow by the Bay last week. Intense! Probably burnt 1,000 calories that night, hahaha! And it was real nice knowing new people, especially those who mean something to somebody who means something to you. Did I lost you there? Hahaha, go figure :D

 Have a great week ahead y'all.

Happy Labour Day

It's finally May. April felt unusually long. Maybe it is just me. So... May, the month which I've been awaiting for because of the performance bonus. On top of that, I'm expecting some dividends from my investments. It's going to be a month of windfall!

Work was actually alright this week, but I had to spend some time rectifying certain issues, especially a rather pressing one on Wednesday. Not looking forward to the sequel on Monday (looking forward to something else though). Nevertheless, it was a good learning experience.

Our company had a movie screening of The Avengers at Suntec City on Tuesday. Didn't apply for the event initially cause I wasn't expecting to end work before 6:30 p.m. Guess luck was on my side that day. As a fairly frugal person, I was sure pleased to watch a much publicized movie for free! Haha! Hmmm... Maybe I am not that frugal. I'm just careful with money and prefer to spend on experiences & moments instead of things. But of course, there are always exceptions for the people who I adore :D

That's all for now. Stay safe & have a great weekend guys.

1:20      :')

Catch yourself smiling. Or failing

What a gloomy Saturday... Seems like any tanning or outdoor activity will have to be called off until further notice. So, it's back to work on Monday! Fortunately, it's going to be a 4 days work week due to Labour Day. Ok, shall not think about work on weekends :D

Have you ever caught yourself smiling because you thought of someone or the silly conversations and moments that both of you had shared? I certainly did while doing dishes earlier on... Sigh, I'm hopeless :D

For now, I have a greater problem to face. Should I have Thai milk tea or Kopi-C on this gloomy Saturday? :P

End of 1st ICT

My first ICT (in-camp-training) aka Reservist is finally coming to an end. It was fun making new friends and rekindling with old ones, especially those whom I had worked with during my NSF days (1 year & 8 months). ICT also provided me with an opportunity to "escape" from work for 2 weeks, hehe. Reaching home at 5:15 pm sure feels good! 6 more high and 3 more low keys to go!

Working in the military is actually quite relaxing as compared to my current job. I'd probably have signed on if I'm married :D hahaha! I always have this mentality that it'd be freaky hard to meet any "wife prospect" if I'd stayed in the military, which is obviously not true... Because I did not meet any "outside" either. Ahaha! Ok, maybe 1, just that cupid is not on my side... 

It's strange how somebody can be on your mind the entire day even when he/she is approximately 3,248 km away. I guess there is certain truth behind the phrase, "out of sight but never out of mind". Maybe it'd be better if I start practicing the "out of sight & out of mind" notion though... Oh well. Easier said than done right? Haha...

I shall end this post with a photo of me taken by a very special someone on a lovely Sunday (: 

I'm a tourist!

世上什么人最幸福？

- “世上什么人最幸福？”

- “不知道什么是爱，也不需要爱的人最幸福。”

- “世上有这种人吗？”

- “有啊，死人咯。”

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservation. All of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

- Chris McCandless

Staying alive

What the hell am I doing? It's just a wishful thinking. I should probably end this dreaming because I am really nothing.

And why is time passing so fucking slowly.

Greatest morning since a long time

Somebody special got me breakfast and a cup of Vanilla Latte from Starbucks this morning! What a pleasant surprise! It really brightened up my day, thank you "somebody special". Hahaha! And it was real coincidental that I decided to skip my morning coffee at home, else I'd be on double dosage, haha! 

"Since I met you, other than you,
the rest of the world is black and white"

What a busy week... Thankfully it'll be Friday tomorrow and I'll be heading to serve my country for 2 weeks! Muahaha! Finally a break away from work... Although it'd be much better if it was a holiday trip instead... Oh well, better than nothing, better than nothing... ... ...

Mindless Grumbling

"Sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you."

Busy week ahead. Although we know that I don't need it, but maybe, just maybe, a little act of love might pull me through.

What nonsense am I grumbling about... I just need to forget about everything & be numb. Because only when you don't care, you don't feel. But somebody once told me that we can close our eyes to what we don't want to see, but we can't close our heart to what we don't want to feel. Haha, retard.

Attracted to you

Life is always so contradicting. Have you ever been worried that someone might find you too "sticky" or get sick of you if you spend too much time with them, and yet at the same time, being with them gives you an incredible amount of happiness and joy that you find it hard not to be attracted to them? Alright, that was quite a long and confusing sentencing... But you get what I mean. Haha, reminds me of the song "Stickwitu" by The Pussycat Dolls... 

Hooray for the Good Friday weekend! 

A quarter of the year, a fraction of a lifetime

It's so hard to want something so much, but at the same time know that you will probably never have it. And you just don't feel like giving up without a fight because the pursuit of happiness is really what living is all about.

I do not know what am I chasing after. I do not know what I'm trying to accomplish. I am so afraid... Afraid of the passing time... Because once gone, we're never going to get it back... I guess liquor don't always make you high and all. It sometimes make you think... Think about love, about life... About how are you going to spend the rest of your life, and who are you going to spend it with... 

Will feelings & love fade with the hands of time? I'd witnessed couples who couldn't end their unsatisfying relationship because of commitments and responsibilities like children or simply a marriage certificate. But through the recent passing of Mr Lee Kuan Yew, I learned about the undying love between him and his wife. And time certainly did not fade a tad bit of that love which they'd shared. 

This showed that true love does exist. This kind of love will never erode with the passing of time. It will never waver despite great distance between both. And this kind of love, once you'd fallen into it, can never get out in a single lifetime.

Passing of the Greatest Man I have ever known

23rd of March 2015 will be a day for Singaporeans to remember. Mr Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's very first Prime Minister, passed away today. All the words have been said by many, so I shall keep it short. Without Mr Lee, we definitely wouldn't be where we are today. His contributions to the nation and to every of our lives cannot be described through mere words. Let's march on together and carry his legacy for as long as we can as one nation & one Singapore. Thank you for everything & rest in peace.

Feels like I'm losing the adventurous spirit in me. Have been slowly shifting my investments to less er risk & higher dividend yield counters like REITs. Oh well... Shall try hogging some cash for a few months & see if any interesting opportunities arise.

"We're not friends, we're not enemies... "

I read this quote the other day, "We're not friends, we're not enemies, we're just strangers with some memories" and I couldn't agree more. It made me think a little too. Relationships between humans are indeed complicated. Many refer it to porcelain vases; once broken or chipped, even if pieced together again, will never be the same. Ok, just some random thought.

Woke up this morning and found the place a little hazy. Let's hope the haze is not here to stay, else it might disrupt my jogs. Oh, let me rephrase, my once in a blue moon jog. Hahahaha!

A strange kind of feeling

"Have you ever get in those moods where you don't feel like reading, & you don't feel like being on the internet, & you don't feel like watching a show, & you don't feel like sleeping, & you don't feel like existing in general... But you want to do something!?“

We can't please everyone & sometimes we just have to let people down. We can't live up to everyone's expectations all the time, & can't hold on to something not for us to keep.

Animals using WhatsApp

This is how a conversation between a naughty pussy cat & a silly dummy dog looks like on WhatsApp.

So numb

Have you ever laid 1 side of your face on the pillow until it turned numb & you still can't sleep? Well, both sides of my face are numb and I still can't sleep. Haha!

"Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present"

Gosh... My stiff neck is back... Not sure if it's due to the pillow which I'm currently sleeping on or the building up of stress at work. So much to do, so many responsibilities... Oh well, I guess sometimes we just got to step up and get shit done. Things will probably get better by mid April. "Tough time don't last, tough man do"! 

Ultra Music Festival Bangkok on the 12th of June and Bali on the 25th of September... Should I? I'm actually looking forward to a romantic honeymoon get away... Oh wait, I'm not even attached! Hahaha! 

To be honest, my life has been pretty awesome lately... Shall not elaborate too much. But if you feel that you might be the reason, then you probably are :D 

Someone asked me if I find the thought of becoming strangers with someone whom we used to be real close with scary. My answer is no. It is not scary, but pure heart-wrenching. I believe that we have all lost a few friends along the way, maybe some lovers, but time will heal all wounds... That's what I believe. So stop thinking about depressing things, follow your heart and wonderful things may unveil themselves. (Geez, I wish life was this simple, hahaha!)

Let's just live for the moment. Because we have to work out the present before we can embrace the future. Peace. 

Double standard is a standard

Somebody asked me, "won't I feel tired after a long day at work?" I guess it really depends on the situation. I mean, if you're asking me to go straight for a second job, my answer is yes. Or if you're telling me to help my mum with groceries, yes, I will be tired, but I'll still do it since I'm a good mommy's boy. 

But... If it's about spending time with someone who is far more important than feeling tired or getting rest, then the answer is no. For that someone, I'm willing to move every single muscle of my damned body, or travel a thousand miles and all these will still feel like it's so god damn worth it.

Why? Because sometimes, for that special someone, everything is worth it.

I Want You to Hear My Heart by Yes’sir Days ft. Fymme Bongkot

My whole heart is tortured every time we’re near

But I can’t tell you the truth, I can only keep it inside

I don’t know when you’ll know my heart

Please look into my eyes, look right there

And you should understand the things you see.

The person you see is completely broken-hearted...

I want you to hear the voice in my heart

Of how much I love you, but I don’t know what to do to get you to listen...

I want you to hear every feeling deep down inside my heart, that I love you,

I love only you, but I don’t know how to say it...

How much longer must I put up with my heart?

There are some words that can’t be hidden, just come and search my heart

And you’ll know how much I love you...

Feb berry blue

"爱是不是不开口才珍贵"

January of 2015 passed in a flash. Another year older, hopefully wiser at the same time.

Don't you wish the weather stays like this for the rest of the year? Gentle sun and cooling nights...

I'm thinking of going on a vacation soon. But I don't know where to go... Friends suggested Bangkok, again. Maybe it's time I go somewhere tranquil by myself. Kind of emo though... My adventurous spirit has long passed... We shall see...

Feel so tired emotionally... I'm probably a 65 years old soul trapped inside a 16 years old body. Or face. Don't think my body passes off as a 16 years old :P

Stepping into a brand new year - 2015

Happy New Year everybody! As a rather typical person, I shall write something to round up the year of 2014. 

2014 had been a year of transition for me, from a student to working adult. Still haven't find "the one", so I guess I should work harder in 2015. Hahaha! Maybe I shouldn't. Since they said that "it" will come along when least expected. Oh well... 

Anyway, I manged to secure my first full time permanent job in 2014. Love the friendly people and fabulous work culture in my department. Real fortunate to be in this company. I am also looking forward to receive the first bonus of my life in the coming months hehehe... 

Secondly, I'm absolutely grateful for the new friendships I made in 2014. Mostly from my workplace, others through friends. Maybe it's fate or affinity, I don't know, but don't you find it amazing when you can just hit it off with certain people? Yeah... Relationships between people are truly hard to figure. It'd also been a great honor to have traveled overseas with some of them. And of course, not forgetting all the good old friends who'd been here all these while. Thank you all!

Lastly, I'd like to wish all my family and friends good health and prosperity in the numerous years to come! Get hitched, make babies and write stories that will last many, many life times! Remember, gaining wealth may be important, but that 1 thing that should come before it is definitely good health! So... Have fun in 2015 y'all!