When will it be my turn?

"Even when you're crying you're beautiful too...

You're my downfall, you're my muse, my worst distraction, my rhythm and blues..."

Congratulations to our long time friend S and her husband for tying the knot last Friday. Always happy to attend the weddings of close relatives & friends. 

Despite the countless married couples around, I still find it hard to imagine myself getting married. Maybe it's because I'm still without a partner at the moment. I always believe that there is bound to be someone on this planet who is made solely for us. And I'm going to meet mine someday. Or maybe I've already met her, just that the part where our destinies are to intertwine each other has yet to arrive. 

But marriage is such an huge decision in life! I'd undisputedly rank it the No.1 decision in life if not for the thing called "divorce". & you should have already known, getting married to someone means spending the rest of our life with them, staying faithful and loyal only to them. Showering them with unconditioned love, care, concern and trust.

Oh well... I guess there isn't a need to excessively ponder over these. You'll know if he/she is the right person when the right one comes along. No questions needed. And you'll definitely put all those mentioned above into play. It's hard to put into words, but it's something like he/she is the first person you want to see sleeping next to you when you open your eyes every morning. In short, our heart will tell us if we truly want to grow old with him/her (:

Why am I even writing about this... Must be the haze. It's getting to me... Drink more plain water my dear friends! 2 public holidays in October! The 6th and 22nd! Hoo-ray! 

"O is for the only one I see"

Just returned from Bangkok. Awesome trip! But it was neither the food I ate nor the places I went to that made it great. It was the friendships I found.

Alright, time to snap back to reality. Enough of fun & feeling recharged already. Let's work hard together & make our days count!

"I look right pass them. Because I only have eyes for the one that I adore."

The Fallen One

I realised that I really like to work. It keeps me numb, keeps me occupied. When I'm not at work, I think about life. I think about the future & what awaits me. Is it loneliness? Or will I even make it there? I think about what should I do during my off days, about if I'm ever going to have my own kids. What kind of a person would my wife be, if I actually managed to marry one that is... And I'll constantly be looking for reasons and excuses to keep myself in the comfort zone.

But when I'm at work, all I think about is getting shit done. Making no errors, staying meticulous. I think about the money I'm going to make, about how I'm going to make more money with the money I just made. And followed by how I'm going to spend all these money, which I probably never will because all I do is work and reinvest. Oh well, I don't even make that much in the first place...

Have you ever read a quote saying, "some people are so poor, all they have is money"? Haha, I was thinking that it's probably because these people aren't making good use of their money. And then I think about those who are real poor, who don't even have money. Just absolutely nothing.

The truth is... I fully understand the quote. Which is exactly why I know that I can never truly be happy. Because all I feel is nothingness. I don't feel anything... Just nonchalant about life. Just living.

Why? Maybe it's because I've given up. I've stopped trying. I can neither find an explaination to this feeling nor a reason to not feel this way.