2 more months to 2010!

Happy Halloween people!

This retro song is 10 times more emo than "All by myself". Its so emo that I actually find it amusing. Haha, but still... :D ahahaha.

Ocean Deep by Cliff Richard

Love, can't you see I'm alone
Can't you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask
A little kindness in the night
Please don't leave me behind
No, don't tell me love is blind
A little love is all I ask
And that is all
Oh love, I've been searching so long
I've been searching high and low
And little love is all I ask
A little sadness when you go
Maybe you'll need a friend
Only please don't let's pretend
A little love is all I ask
And that is all

I wanna spread my wings
But I just can't fly
As a string of pearls
The pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep
I'm so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings
Solitary room

Ocean deep
Will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I'll keep
Ocean deep

Now , can't you hear when I call
Can't you hear the word I say
A little love is all I ask
A little feeling when we touch
Why am I still alone
I've got a heart without a home
A little love is all I ask
And that is all

I'm so lonely, lonely, lonely
On my own in my room
I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely...

Haha, champion already! I played Bejewelled for 2 hours and can't freaking get beyond 200k but the moment I played with another laptop using my neice's account, I got 245k. FML. I think its because my laptop is too laggy. Everytime I get massive explosion it hangs. This is not an excuse :D haha. Oh c'mon, this laptop is like 4 years old! Time to retire.

Materialistic is the new LOVE

4 more tests before all come to an end(may still have 4 weeks of outfield though)! Apparently, I don't have any leaves left this year. Guess I'll just have to wait for the 14 days next year. But I really, really, need a holiday, even a chalet will be great. Even a weekend hotel/stay over chill out is good. Even a... ...

I realised NS isn't taking too much of a toll on me. I think its mainly, or you can say totally, because I don't have a girlfriend. Everyday is just a repetition of yesterday, nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. I know its sad, but what to do? If you're taking pity on me, just transfer a few hundred bucks to my bank account, it'll certainly be of some help, since the world is so materialistic :D

My mum often ask me why didn't I choose to born under a rich dad. Haha, if there was a choice, every kid would be born in a silver spooned family and those wooden spooned families will never be expecting no matter how hard they fuck.

It really hurts to see people not appreciate what they have. So if you feel like complaining about your life today, come talk to me, I will tell you how fortunate you actually are (:

Can't wait for Sonia & Janice's new cover :D

I need help

Everyday, I long for the arrival of the weekend, but when its here, it only reminds me of how lonely I really am. My life really is motherfuckingsucks.

Anyway,

Happy Birthday Samantha.

Janice & Sonia rocks!

No shit, you guys got to check this out! Totally melt my little heart! :D



Sweet! Dinner time :D and I fucking failed a test today! Was hoping for a boarder line pass so badly but he just had to read out 46 for me, fuck!!!

And this morning on the way to camp, this little girl, around 7 or 8 years old sat next to me on the bus. She kinda fell asleep & leaned on me. Haha, a primary school girl leaning on a solider? Quite an amusing sight, but sweet at the same time :D

Not so bad Saturday

I finally watched Fame today and its real enjoyable! An interesting movie with awesome songs. Had dinner at ILUMA, The Asian Kitchen. Their roasted chicken is good. I had a plate of ordinary tasting prawn fried rice and avocado ice blend. Went to check out Colosseum, which is located at Level 7. They're having this promotion in October, play 2 hours and get 1 free! And there were girls at the entrance acting as "promoters", walk near and they will approach you, asking if you're interested to play. Okay la, the chicks don't look bad :D

Want to play Gran Turismo on PSP so much but errors keep occurring... But its okay, I'll try harder tomorrow, in fact, I've already started, haha.
I'm so in love with "I will follow you into the dark" by Death Cab For Cutie! The starting verse just keeps repeating repeating repeating in my head!

Sian ah! There goes the second Saturday of October. When can I... Be with the girl of my life... :D

I know you can show me

The monkeys raided the room we keep our bags yesterday. Stuffs were all over the place; lunch boxes opened, rubbish bins toppled, haha. I'm amazed by their intelligence; they actually managed to open the door, open zips and lunch boxes!

Anyway, I get to relax tonight cause the next test is on Friday. It a fucking 10 chapters test, which means I'd better get started tomorrow, haha. And I took some time to worked out alittle just now, cause I feel fat. Haven't been to the gym for 2 weeks.

I have this method of washing hair. Start by shampoo-ing your hair, for me I use cool mint from Head & Shoulders. Don't wash away the foam, instead, use a comb and go through your hair serve times, combing away the foam. Let it stay for a minute or 2 before washing off, you'll get this ice chill sensation on your head/hair! Hahaha, well, at least for me.

And in case I forget, do remind me to tell y'all some interesting stories my superiors told me when there's a chance.

Have fun my friends.

Firstly, I want to wish Andrew and Kenneth, who will be enlisting on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively, all the best and have fun in BMT.

Went to this Korean restaurant recommended by Sophie at ChinaTown today. Although I'm not a fan of Korean cuisine, I would say that the food is decent; compared to other shitty places. Price range pretty similar to typical restaurants like ThaiExpress, etc. Well, actually it doesn't matter what I'm eating, as long as its with my beloved friends, it'll be enjoyable :D haha!

New week ahead! And gosh... Its October already. With everyone's busy schedules and activities, this is probably the period where our friendship is put to test... ... Ok whatever, I'm suffering from mental block now, which means its time to sleep and wake up at 5:20am. Anyway, what I wanna say is, let's just catch up once in awhile and not take this friendship for granted, we've come a long way... ... ... Fine, the truth is I'm so fucking lonely, empty, pathetic and that I need company! Okay!?

Love of mine, someday you will die, but I'll be close behind, to follow you into the dark...

I've never been to me

Mariah Carey's new ablum, Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel is not bad, like her, "I Want To Know What Love Is".

Everyday when I'm in uniform, I long for the weekends. But when the weekend is here, I often find myself stuck between the decision of heading out or staying home for some quality rest. I feel so lost... Got nowhere to go, nothing to do, no-one to hang out with.

Today is Lantern Festival. I still remembered how we used to burn whatever we could find; lanterns, twigs, candle boxes and tons of candles haha, those were the days! But this year, the feeling just aren't there no more.

When I close my eyes, it feels like there are grains in them. Every fucking day, thats how tired I am. & I figured that I've problem being myself at times. Haha, whatever, time to sleep, another hectic week ahead.

I'll be there for you if you should need me, you don't have to change a thing, I ---- you just the way you are.

Wishing you were here.

I said I need to stay home to study some stuffs for tons of up-coming tests and Hiang Peng called me an emo-kid. I really wonder why...

My weekdays are filled with endless lectures and tutorials with 2 or 3 tests every week. I have to start reading the course-ware the moment I reach home till the moment I sleep. Sigh... Many tiring days ahead, but I kinda find it fulfilling. At least I'm learning and accomplishing something, unlike the older days, when I just slack through the hands of time...

Sometimes I really wonder what are some of my friends doing at that particular moment in time. Well, I could have asked, but I didn't cause I couldn't find a reason to. We're so far away.

Oh, and I think my entries are lacking pictures. Guess not having a camera phone does make a difference.

Life goes on...

I wonder how love works, but guess it can never be explained. Its like, I can love her so much yet all she sees is him. She loves him. & here I am, puzzled...

Well, regrading my current life... Its simple. Getting up real early, like fucking 5am, take a rough 1 hour bus ride to camp/school, slack my day away and somehow reach home at 7pm for dinner. And this is probably gonna last for sometime.

I wish I have this girlfriend that will call me every evening to complain about how guys stared at her, the food court aunty with attitude problem or simply politics & gossips in school. Haha, dreaming, just dreaming :D

Fri Ends

This is it, the part where everyone breaks out of the circle that we've been in for the past few years. Let's all get on with our lives, find the one you love, get married, don't even look back and friends? Just let them be part of your memory, acting as stepping stones, helping out through your teenage life, making it easier and more fun; but forget all these, just move on, its over.

Modified BMT 240709 - 070909

My 7 weeks of Modified BMT is officially over. Although 7 weeks is a short time, a new bond was forged. I can still clearly remember how everyone were strangers on the first day; there were still much ice to be broken. But after a personal introduction session, we became friends and begin talking shit to each other. As days go by, our relationship became something real strong, as though we'd known one another for years.

Everyday when we sang our songs to the cookhouse or any particular places, it meant nothing much but entertainment while marching. However on the last day, when we took our last march as a platoon, singing the same usual songs towards the ferry terminal, I actually felt something. Its hard to describe that feeling with words. I think I'll miss Tekong together with the people and everything that happened during that 7 weeks.

All those enlisting these few days, all the best and have fun. I can say as much as I want, but its never more real than going through it yourselves.

I'm surprised that it still hurts after all these time. It still affects me, makes me feel down, darken my day and make me lose my way. I need a soulmate, a companion, a someone to hold when I'm all alone. I'm empty.

What does NS mean to you?

National service may be nothing but a waste of time to many. As a recruit, you'll have absolutely nothing. Everything is controlled; meals time, pee time, sleeping time, basically everything. So girls out there, don't ever fucking break up with your boy during his BMT days, do it after that.

NS is filled with "first times", and at the same time probably the last. Trust me, NS is the only place you will ever eat biscuits with your hands full of camouflage cream and mud. Its the only place you get to throw live grenade, carry a rifle and fire live rounds. Its no-doubt a valuable once in a life time experience.

What I've gone through is nothing compared to many others, but it can't be explained with mere words, one has to serve to understand. NS taught us to be punctual, work as a team and be responsible. Although I've always been a punctual person, but in NS, it doesn't mean a thing for 1 man to be punctual.

NS allow us to meet many different people from all walks of life. You'll meet true friends that will always cover your ass no matter how much it stinks. But at the same time, you'll meet fuckers that you know you'll disappear from after BMT. You'll probably also discover how small Singapore is, how people are related to one another.

So what exactly what does NS mean to me? Simple. It means stepping out of my comfort zone, become a more responsible man and acquire the relevant skills to protect my country when required. Although my role in the SAF may not be very big, but SAF itself is made up of the effort from every individual, regardless huge or small.

So if I were given choice, I will still choose to serve.

So Amazing

Today was well spent, lunched at Manhattan Fish Market @ Northpoint, sang at Thomson CC, L4D at Downtime and pooled at OCC.

POC in 2 weeks time, can't wait! But looking at the long run, I still have approximately 2 years to go. Learned quite a bit the other day at the Army Museum. I've got no idea that commissioned officers can be called back for service up till the age of 50 and NCO or specialists up till the age of 40! Haha, was really an interesting trip. Company's Night and outfield to clear, hope all will be fine.

I found out that 2 activities that girls are constantly engaging in. I call it double S, sex & supper. Hahahaha!

Half Way Through

I fired live rounds, the first and probably the last time in my life. Built basha(tent), more to come on week 5 during outfield. Throwing live grenade next week.
Army had been fun so far, guess PES C is derived from C = Chill :D

"It's true. Relationships encounter all sorts of bullshit problems. Maybe you left the toilet seat up, maybe you accidentally grabbed her best friend's ass, whatever the case may be...just know that sex solves everything. All you have to do is grab her by the tits and bang the shit out of her. Bang her so senseless that she forgets what the two of you were fighting about. It works every time." - Yosho

Feelings that can't be put to words

Everyone was excited. It was our first book out after 2 weeks of confinement. I have good commanders, a great platoon, and even better bunk mates.

Had been a long time since I have had this feeling. Feels like I need someone dear to be with me, someone of the opposite gender, someone I love. Why does it hurts everytime I see you smile? Why does it feels like I've lost someone important? Feels like we're on a holiday, far away from each other...

Day before enlistment

The last 2 days before enlistment were well spent. Yesterday was spent eating and singing with Kenneth & Ser Chin @ Thomson in the afternoon before dinning at Manhattan Fish Market with Joni, Kam Chuen and Hiang Peng at night. Was my first time there. We ordered a great deal of food for just the 4 of us; 2 side dishes, 2 soups, a seafood platter for 2 and a giant fried platter. Didn't even bother to finish the fries. Thanks Joni for the treat though.

Today was alright. Caught Public Enemy with Ser Chin followed by Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince with the others. Public Enemy was good, interesting storyline but lack of gun fights, was expecting it to be more action packed. Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince was... Alright I guess. No high hopes! Haha! The problem with Harry Potter movies is that they always use the same boring "flashing-invisible-and-knock-back" spells. And the only 2 wizards that can cast godly, graphic intensive spells(like fire storm, lighting, water, etc) are Voldemort and Dumbledore. Bo hoseh!

Then we dined at Din Tai Fung. Its my first time there as well, fried rice with prawn looked and tasted good, as for the xiao long pao... Nothing special, its either all that I had eaten were equally good or they all were supposed to taste like that.

And just to let those who can't be bothered or what so ever about my life(if you managed to make it here that is), I will be enlisting aka serving the country tomorrow!
From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely thanks those that wished me well and asked about how I feel. Hmmm... The truth is... I feel excited yet afraid at the same time. The thought of going to a totally unfamiliar place filled with strangers, it sucks. The thought of having no access to the internet, that sucks too. But the thought of having no weekdays, this sucks the most! Hahaha! If only I had a girl telling me that she will be waiting for me... I'd be in heaven~ Oh, I may twit, thats if I'm bo liao enough to do so :D

We are like strangers.

I love island life & snorkeling!

Tioman Island: Paya Beach Resort
12th - 14th July

Took a cab to DFS Orchard to catch our bus which leaves at 6:30am. The journey was long, took about 2 hours to reach a the first check point where we had our lunch. Continued for another 2 hours before reaching the ferry terminal. Had a 1.5 hours ferry ride before reaching our destination, Tioman Island, at around 2:30pm.

The dudes filling up their white cards.

At custom waiting for bus. (Illegal photo)

Waiting, waiting...

On the bus!

The ferry tickets and marine park reservation coupons.

On the boat! Pretty long journey but its definitely worth the while!

*Ok, I'm feeling fucked up right now cause the upload speed is fucking slow!*

And of course we checked in upon arrival. Went for some godly Ramly Burger after putting our stuffs in our room. Roamed around the resort, played a game of 3RM pool, rented our snorkeling gears and off we went to snorkel! Couldn't take underwater pictures as we didn't have any housing for our cameras. What a pity. Nevertheless we saw tons of beautiful fishes as well as sea creatures. For a moment, I couldn't believe I'm in South China Sea, hahaha!

Touch down! Island life!

Paya Beach!

Checking in.

Lobster king! Thats the biggest in the tank.

Unpacking and changing into chilling suit.

Waiting for our Ramly! The Ramly burgers back at Singapore are nothing compared to this! Their bun is so crispy... Its a big regret that we only had one...

3RM pool. 8 feet table if I'm not wrong and its in superb bad condition haha!

Even the cue ball stucks... Got to hook it out with the cue, haha.

A bug randomly flew onto Andrew's hand and being who I am, I just got to let it into my mouth!

Snorkeling took all the craps out of us, so we headed back to our room, making a mess out of it. Dripped water and sand onto the balcony of our neighbor below, haha. Went for dinner after bathing. The food were not bad, slightly better than the mixed rice stalls from our friendly coffee-shops. Slacked around, did some shopping for snacks and drinks. Wanted to sing KTV but was occupied. Went back to our room, chilled, watched their "scheduled" SVC, Harry Porter & the Order of the Phoenix on HBO! Haha, just nice as I missed this show. & of course, we switched off one by one...

Buffet Dinner! Good enough for me!

Night falls...

They are lots of cats and kittens in this resort, thats for sure!

And we saw a frog!

Day 2 greeted us with awesome sunshine! Started with a snorkeling trip at the Marine Park and a small snorkeling spot called Coral Island. Nothing much at Marine Park, just lots of fishes, but are all the same. The memorable part is when I fed the fishes with bread and all of them started attacking me. Some even tried to reach for the bread in my hands by jumping out of the sea! Scared the shit out of me.
Coral Island was much better, beautiful fishes, even saw a group of about 10 cuttlefishes chilling.

Fresh air! Can you smell it? Haha!

Mid-tide. There are real beautiful fishes and corals underneth the rocks on the left! Not forgetting scary sea urchins with the size of a head.

I wanted to go to the jungle trek so much! Looks so lovely!

Checking out the fishes.

Ripples caused by wind made it blurry, but good enough to see those corals.

Then we had lunch back at the resort, chilled, played cards and walked along the beach till evening. Nobody wants to go for another round of snorkeling with me, all said tired and boring, @#$@%! Headed back to bathe before dinner. We ordered some butter prawns and grilled lobsters, pretty damn good! Night was spent in our room again.

Played darts.

Slacking.

A lovely aunty helped us with this :D

Check out my tiny durians, ahaha!

The clearness of the water! Looks consumable huh? Haha

I was close to tear...

Yes, that little dude at the background is Kenneth, having a little private time on his own.

Do we look like we're looking for shower with those towels in our hands?

We saw a real big monitor lizard swim pass, it was close to 2 meters long, no bomb! But of course, was gone before we could take its picture :D

You can even find dinosaur's bone!

Butter prawns! Eff-ing good! Juicy as pus... ... Ahaha!

Grilled Lobsters. Regretted not trying 2 different style. Should have tried the sashimi! Arghhh!

Day 3 was the departure day. Had breakfast and checked out. Our damn boat went to almost all the jetties of Tioman Island to pick up everyone before heading back to the ferry terminal. Took about 2.3 hours? Super duper fucking long! Boarded the bus and continued our journey home. Went to watch Ice Age 3 at Cine after reaching Singapore.

No joke, those are fishes! Different species and colors chilling near the jetty!

Fishes charging at food!

More fishes, they looked more like weeds than fishes though.

At least 50cm swordfish, bo tua kang!

More pictures are up @ Facebook, do check them out. Thumbs up for this Tioman trip! Next trip: Laguna Redang Resort!

Do I hate myself too?

There are 2 types of people I absolutely detest.
First type: These people are your friends, but applicable only when they need your help. You hold no capacity in their mind, not to mention the heart. The only thing you guys can talk about is the problem(s) they need you to help them solve. Other than these, they show no concern about your life nor intend to share any of theirs with you. Maybe we should all be more scheming; like ask you out to have fun, hang out a little before asking for help. That definitely makes the helper feel more like a friend than a "first-aid-kit".
(maybe its not that bad, at least they think about you when they needed help.)

The second is the stubborn and self-centered. They always want things to go their way and rarely or never spare a thought for others. Always want conveniency to be on their side, can't take a second route for the sake of others.

Well, if you're my friend and feels that you are any of the above, stop thinking, you are. But don't worry because I've learned the hard way in life, I've learned to accept the imperfection of others and only to curse them in my heart.

Friends "forever". Peace out.

Chilling with the chill is chill :D

We became friends for a reason. And the reason is definitely not because we went to the same school or played the same silly games. I aren't too sure what is it either, but fate seems to be the only acceptable cause.

I'm happy tonight, to know that I've friends who seem far away, but never too far to meet up to share some joy and laughter, and maybe a drink or 2.