Don't want to miss a thing

I recently went on a trip with a very special individual of my life. The experience was supposed to bring us closer together, but it somehow backfired. Everything was fine during the trip and all, just some external factors.

Never expected that falling in love with someone could be so complicated. I mean, who would expect themselves to fall in love with someone from the same company? It's not exactly a taboo and it's rather easy to solve, someone just have to leave, right?

I wonder if things would be better if we hadn't gone on the trip. Nobody knows, and I have no regret about it because those are definitely some of the finest moments of my life.

A true regret is letting someone who matters come into our lives and let them slip away because of people who don't. And I'm not about to let that happen.

Might blog about my BKK trip when I'm feeling better...

Automobile accident

Today is a bad day. It's the first time I need to compensate others due to an automobile accident. This was what happened: I was on my way to the wedding lunch of a friend and my jacket slipped off the passenger seat while I braked at the junction. So I reached over to pick it up without knowing that the vehicle was free rolling forward and it hit the bumper of the car in front. Nobody was injured but the "screw" on my car plate (off-peak cars have a "screw" on the car plate to prevent drivers from tampering with it) punctured a tiny hole on the rear bumper of the car in front. 

Sometimes I feel that it is predestined. You see, I was contemplating whether to drive or not and decided to do so since the venue was quite inaccessible. I then noticed that the traffic of the expressway, which I'd usually take, was rather heavy, and decided to use an alternative route. And this resulted in the ridiculous story that you'd just read above, hahaha! I'm just waiting for the other party to contact me regarding the compensation from my side now... Just want to get this issue over and done with!!! Please cost lesser than S$400! Hahaha...

要花冤枉钱了！我榦！

Rage, disappointment & anguish

Have you ever gone on a journey and through out the journey, there is this one person who you look forward to return to at the end of it? I do. But every time when I come back, this person who means the world to me has to drift further away because of some irrelevant bullshit. 

The hatred in me is growing... I'm going to snap if this piece of bullshit dares cross my path again. I won't forgive it. 

I don't want to quit (give up).

Very disappointing result and dividend distribution from Far East Hospitality Trust. Oh well, probably going to hold on to this counter for years anyway...

Work has been tedious. It's not easy running a team; all the decisions to make, guiding the newer staffs, managing expectations... It's taking a toll on my mental health. I can't help but to question if I am really up for the job. Guess this is a growing process that I'll have to go through. Tough time don't last, tough men do! 

My love life... Has been a tremor. But I have no intention of giving up because one does not simply give up on something precious to them. It's not easy to find someone who can take all the shit that you say and the nonsense that you do. It's even harder to find someone who can make you smile with just their presence alone.

Getting out of shape. Haven't worked out at a gym for 3 months now. Maybe someday... That's all for now.  Let's hope things get better... 

Sick of being an option.

The Martian is a great movie

Caught The Martian recently and trust me, it's awesome. As compared to movies of similar setting, such as Gravity, it is much lighthearted with plenty of interesting dialogues. And it is rather motivating. Teaches you to stay optimistic and to never give up even in the most dreadful times. I strongly recommend everyone to watch it. 

Maybe I should talk a little about my life. Everything has been good, more challenges and responsibilities at work, but no adjustment to salary, yet. Hahaha! And time sure flies, 4 more months to bonus again. Hoo-ray! Stock market hasn't been doing too well. Been sitting on a paper loss for the longest time. Fortunately most of my positions pay decent dividends. So I guess it's not too bad...

What else...? Love life? Hmm... I've to admit... I do feel a little insecure sometimes... Because when you have something so wonderful, it's only natural that you're afraid to lose it. Oh well... Life is just unpredictable like that.

"At some point, everything's going to to go south on you. You can either accept that, or you can get to work"

I wish yesterday never happened.

The day which I have been anticipating has finally arrived. It is time for me to step up and take on a bigger role and added responsibilities at work. Feeling so uncertain about myself. Well... I guess sometimes we have to put ourselves in that situation and learn along the way, maybe make some mistakes here and there, but this is how we grow, right?

We let people into our lives, make them part of it and when they choose to leave, we lose part of us together with them. It's an unbearable feeling. I won't deny, I feel broken. I feel like staying at home until I feel better. But we all know that is not possible.

:'(

A tree which may never bear fruits

What am I really hoping for? What am I chasing after?

我深深的脑海里

人与人之间的感情真的不是说放下就能放下的。当你尝试告诉或提醒自己不要再想某个人的时候，在那一刻，你心与脑海里想着的不就是她吗? 哈哈，还真可笑呢...

Foolish Games

Where do I stand? Why do I feel like I'm just there to fill in the gaps?

July Summary

Hi guys, a quick and simple update cause I'm bored as hell right now. Took my first MC since I started working. Company's clinic is just 2 minutes walk from my place :D and I might have rolled on the bed for too long, feeling a little "giddy", haha... Oh well, I should be fine by tomorrow.

Market hasn't been doing well, at least my counters aren't. Finally increased my holdings of FEHT to 10,000 shares after the sharp plunge in its price this week. I guess it's fine since I plan to hold them for a very, very long time.

I'm quite pleased with my salary "adjustment" this month. It was more than what I was expecting due to a salary review for fresh graduates in the company. 

With some of my friends and a very important person of my life overseas this weekend, I'm already starting to ponder about the things that I can do. Aiya, think so much for what! Ahahaha!

And I received a little surprise yesterday evening. Somebody bought me a cup of warm Milo and I thought that it was real sweet. I was referring to the gesture, not the Milo :D

Gosh, can't seems to keep you out of my mind. Please come back safely.

Burnout. Destroyed maybe.

Been feeling so tired this entire week. I might be suffering from a burnout, both mentally and emotionally. And it shouldn't be the case since I just came back from a short cruise getaway. I wonder why...

Don't you wish you can look into someone's heart and see how much you mean to them? Haha, maybe not, because so many chaps are going to be disappointed. I'll probably be one of them.

Thoughts before bed are always so deep that I feel like it's consuming me from inside.

Goodnight world. It's Friday once more. Cheers.

"You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you".

Bear in mind

"Never get too attached to anyone else unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you"

Welcome July.

: ' (

A drained heart on SuperStar Gemini

"If people don't make an effort to be in your life, don't try so hard to be in theirs; it's not worth it."

Back from my virgin cruise trip. It was awesome! I guess travelling with buddies of at least 21 years will never go wrong. Not many photos were taken because there really isn't much that's worth a shot. 

Beautiful Keppel Bay bidding us goodbye

The boundless sea from our little window.

Dusk.
Check out the 2 bright stars/satellite below the moon! 

So much green on Tioman Island!

The shades of blue aren't that bad too!

That's about it. Back to reality tomorrow! Let's go! 

Even the sweetest dream has to end

"Who is the first person who comes into your mind when you wake up?"

"You."

Company's Dinner & Dance was pretty fun. We had a very entertaining MC. I even got the chance to step onto the stage to perform my very own version of the classic Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars (the Monotonous version). And lastly, I'd like to congratulate my beloved colleague whose team won the first prize in the talent show, I'm so proud of you.

I'll be going to my virgin cruise trip in less than 24 hours. A little excited, finally get to embrace the island life again. Wish I'm travelling with my "girlfriend" though (not that I actually have one. And no, my right hand is not my girlfriend). Looking forward to winning some kopi money too :D 

Jurassic World was not bad. Very nostalgia movie. Some parts of the show totally reminded me of the 1993 Jurassic Park. Maybe for a start, it's time they open up enclosures in zoos and let us interact with the herbivores, ahahaha!

I really have 0 motivation to workout these days. The only part that is growing is the tummy. Sigh... No time to train is definitely a bad excuses. Because I don't even train when I have time, hahaha! Oh well... Life's all about priorities.

We don't know which way to go

"When you love someone, you love the person as they are, and not as you'd like them to be."

Cutting a birthday cake in my homely office for the second time made me realised how fast time had flew by. I've already been with the company for approximately 1.5 years. 

Seeing friends come and go really set me pondering how long more will I be here. Bonus was alright, wasn't as much as what I was expecting at first, but still acceptable after some "expectation management". Seems like the salary "adjustment" next month will be another key indicator. Not holding high hopes though.

Relationships between people can be so complicated. I can be here wondering if someone I fancy misses me, and there they are, wondering if someone else is missing them... Wouldn't it be nice if we can just meet someone who will always misses us as much as we miss them?

Questions.

Am I a procrastinator? Why have I not scaled Mount Kinabalu? Why do I not have a diving licence? Sometimes I really don't know what am I waiting for. For someone who might never appear? For something that might never happen? So many questions. 

Intensive 2 days. Fortunately for the short week, phew... TGIT people. 

"Don't give up on someone who you can't even go a day without thinking about."