我深深的脑海里

人与人之间的感情真的不是说放下就能放下的。当你尝试告诉或提醒自己不要再想某个人的时候，在那一刻，你心与脑海里想着的不就是她吗? 哈哈，还真可笑呢...

Foolish Games

Where do I stand? Why do I feel like I'm just there to fill in the gaps?

July Summary

Hi guys, a quick and simple update cause I'm bored as hell right now. Took my first MC since I started working. Company's clinic is just 2 minutes walk from my place :D and I might have rolled on the bed for too long, feeling a little "giddy", haha... Oh well, I should be fine by tomorrow.

Market hasn't been doing well, at least my counters aren't. Finally increased my holdings of FEHT to 10,000 shares after the sharp plunge in its price this week. I guess it's fine since I plan to hold them for a very, very long time.

I'm quite pleased with my salary "adjustment" this month. It was more than what I was expecting due to a salary review for fresh graduates in the company. 

With some of my friends and a very important person of my life overseas this weekend, I'm already starting to ponder about the things that I can do. Aiya, think so much for what! Ahahaha!

And I received a little surprise yesterday evening. Somebody bought me a cup of warm Milo and I thought that it was real sweet. I was referring to the gesture, not the Milo :D

Gosh, can't seems to keep you out of my mind. Please come back safely.

Burnout. Destroyed maybe.

Been feeling so tired this entire week. I might be suffering from a burnout, both mentally and emotionally. And it shouldn't be the case since I just came back from a short cruise getaway. I wonder why...

Don't you wish you can look into someone's heart and see how much you mean to them? Haha, maybe not, because so many chaps are going to be disappointed. I'll probably be one of them.

Thoughts before bed are always so deep that I feel like it's consuming me from inside.

Goodnight world. It's Friday once more. Cheers.

"You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you".

Bear in mind

"Never get too attached to anyone else unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you"

Welcome July.

: ' (

A drained heart on SuperStar Gemini

"If people don't make an effort to be in your life, don't try so hard to be in theirs; it's not worth it."

Back from my virgin cruise trip. It was awesome! I guess travelling with buddies of at least 21 years will never go wrong. Not many photos were taken because there really isn't much that's worth a shot. 

Beautiful Keppel Bay bidding us goodbye

The boundless sea from our little window.

Dusk.
Check out the 2 bright stars/satellite below the moon! 

So much green on Tioman Island!

The shades of blue aren't that bad too!

That's about it. Back to reality tomorrow! Let's go! 

Even the sweetest dream has to end

"Who is the first person who comes into your mind when you wake up?"

"You."

Company's Dinner & Dance was pretty fun. We had a very entertaining MC. I even got the chance to step onto the stage to perform my very own version of the classic Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars (the Monotonous version). And lastly, I'd like to congratulate my beloved colleague whose team won the first prize in the talent show, I'm so proud of you.

I'll be going to my virgin cruise trip in less than 24 hours. A little excited, finally get to embrace the island life again. Wish I'm travelling with my "girlfriend" though (not that I actually have one. And no, my right hand is not my girlfriend). Looking forward to winning some kopi money too :D 

Jurassic World was not bad. Very nostalgia movie. Some parts of the show totally reminded me of the 1993 Jurassic Park. Maybe for a start, it's time they open up enclosures in zoos and let us interact with the herbivores, ahahaha!

I really have 0 motivation to workout these days. The only part that is growing is the tummy. Sigh... No time to train is definitely a bad excuses. Because I don't even train when I have time, hahaha! Oh well... Life's all about priorities.

We don't know which way to go

"When you love someone, you love the person as they are, and not as you'd like them to be."

Cutting a birthday cake in my homely office for the second time made me realised how fast time had flew by. I've already been with the company for approximately 1.5 years. 

Seeing friends come and go really set me pondering how long more will I be here. Bonus was alright, wasn't as much as what I was expecting at first, but still acceptable after some "expectation management". Seems like the salary "adjustment" next month will be another key indicator. Not holding high hopes though.

Relationships between people can be so complicated. I can be here wondering if someone I fancy misses me, and there they are, wondering if someone else is missing them... Wouldn't it be nice if we can just meet someone who will always misses us as much as we miss them?

Questions.

Am I a procrastinator? Why have I not scaled Mount Kinabalu? Why do I not have a diving licence? Sometimes I really don't know what am I waiting for. For someone who might never appear? For something that might never happen? So many questions. 

Intensive 2 days. Fortunately for the short week, phew... TGIT people. 

"Don't give up on someone who you can't even go a day without thinking about."

Travelling abroad. Alone.

"It's been a long day, without you by friend... And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..." 

Is it true that the older you get, the lonelier you'll be? Friends getting hitched one after another, some too caught up with life, with work, while others just simply lost touch. To be honest, I never believe in losing contact with friends. Because if someone really matters, we will always try to meet up, even if it means getting rejected over and over again. Nobody is always busy, it's all about priorities and how much you really want to hang out.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really afraid of loneliness. Maybe I am, which is why I will probably never travel abroad by myself. But on second thought, it might not be true. I mean, I like to share my happiness with others, people who really matter. I like to travel with them, to experience new stuffs, enjoy the beautiful scenery, face dangerous moments, etc, etc, together. To me, life is about sharing moments with our loved ones. 

Should I get a new cellphone? Less than 10 days to 20 months, which is also when my contract will be eligible for re-contract or handset upgrade. Feel that it's an "opportunity cost" if I don't, but I really dislike spending money on miscellaneous stuffs like this. Oh well, life is filled with decisions. Like whether to talk to someone who you care about but... Nevermind.

"You deserve someone better"

I was told that I deserve someone better. It got me confused. Because how can I determine who is better or worse when you are all that I see? 

What a joke.

How they make us feel

May has been a rather eventful month till now. Had fun raving to the music by Hardwell at Meadow by the Bay last week. Intense! Probably burnt 1,000 calories that night, hahaha! And it was real nice knowing new people, especially those who mean something to somebody who means something to you. Did I lost you there? Hahaha, go figure :D

 Have a great week ahead y'all.

Happy Labour Day

It's finally May. April felt unusually long. Maybe it is just me. So... May, the month which I've been awaiting for because of the performance bonus. On top of that, I'm expecting some dividends from my investments. It's going to be a month of windfall!

Work was actually alright this week, but I had to spend some time rectifying certain issues, especially a rather pressing one on Wednesday. Not looking forward to the sequel on Monday (looking forward to something else though). Nevertheless, it was a good learning experience.

Our company had a movie screening of The Avengers at Suntec City on Tuesday. Didn't apply for the event initially cause I wasn't expecting to end work before 6:30 p.m. Guess luck was on my side that day. As a fairly frugal person, I was sure pleased to watch a much publicized movie for free! Haha! Hmmm... Maybe I am not that frugal. I'm just careful with money and prefer to spend on experiences & moments instead of things. But of course, there are always exceptions for the people who I adore :D

That's all for now. Stay safe & have a great weekend guys.

1:20      :')

Catch yourself smiling. Or failing

What a gloomy Saturday... Seems like any tanning or outdoor activity will have to be called off until further notice. So, it's back to work on Monday! Fortunately, it's going to be a 4 days work week due to Labour Day. Ok, shall not think about work on weekends :D

Have you ever caught yourself smiling because you thought of someone or the silly conversations and moments that both of you had shared? I certainly did while doing dishes earlier on... Sigh, I'm hopeless :D

For now, I have a greater problem to face. Should I have Thai milk tea or Kopi-C on this gloomy Saturday? :P

End of 1st ICT

My first ICT (in-camp-training) aka Reservist is finally coming to an end. It was fun making new friends and rekindling with old ones, especially those whom I had worked with during my NSF days (1 year & 8 months). ICT also provided me with an opportunity to "escape" from work for 2 weeks, hehe. Reaching home at 5:15 pm sure feels good! 6 more high and 3 more low keys to go!

Working in the military is actually quite relaxing as compared to my current job. I'd probably have signed on if I'm married :D hahaha! I always have this mentality that it'd be freaky hard to meet any "wife prospect" if I'd stayed in the military, which is obviously not true... Because I did not meet any "outside" either. Ahaha! Ok, maybe 1, just that cupid is not on my side... 

It's strange how somebody can be on your mind the entire day even when he/she is approximately 3,248 km away. I guess there is certain truth behind the phrase, "out of sight but never out of mind". Maybe it'd be better if I start practicing the "out of sight & out of mind" notion though... Oh well. Easier said than done right? Haha...

I shall end this post with a photo of me taken by a very special someone on a lovely Sunday (: 

I'm a tourist!

世上什么人最幸福？

- “世上什么人最幸福？”

- “不知道什么是爱，也不需要爱的人最幸福。”

- “世上有这种人吗？”

- “有啊，死人咯。”

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservation. All of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

- Chris McCandless

Staying alive

What the hell am I doing? It's just a wishful thinking. I should probably end this dreaming because I am really nothing.

And why is time passing so fucking slowly.